Tag: coaching

Where do I stop?

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It’s about time for another post about life lessons from running. This one starts in Munich. Usually I’ll be mulling over the many benefits of running from positive health impacts to bringing you into contact with people who share your interest and therefore are one step closer to supporting your crazy dreams. But this is different. It’s a race but there’s no finish line or cut off time – so how do you know when to stop? [See below for the answer in terms of running.]

I was mulling over this whilst I was running, in between checking my watch, grabbing some energy from the food and water stations and enjoying the changing landscape once outside the city. I had no idea where I was going to end up, but instead of staying at the start line and worrying about it, or trying to plan the exact route, I started off when the cannons fired and kept taking steps forward.

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Catcher cars at the ready

Fortunately, there are some clever calculations so you can work out how fast you need to be to get to a particular distance before the car catches you. In some ways you can make it like any other race: run the distance. However, there’s a small caveat – you can’t slow down and make up time later in case you get caught, going too fast sometimes makes you slower so pacing is crucial and what happens when you make the distance? Do you stop running, congratulate yourself and wait patiently for the car to formally acknowledge that you have completed your race? Do you re-calculate, set a new target up your pace and run on to the next km marker, then the next, then the next?

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Once you finish you get a shiny, gold blanket

Of course, there is no right or wrong answer, or rather both of them are the right answer. As life patters on, you may find yourself reaching your goal: getting a new job, taking that dream holiday or buying that house and then what? Sometimes you need to stop and pause for a while, enjoy the place you’re at and reflect, review. After a little while it will be time to decide what’s next – to metaphorically lace up your running shoes for the next race. Other times you may get to the goal and it can be your springboard to something else – new opportunities appear, the route is clear ahead and you have the energy to keep going.

There will always be a time to pause and the great news is that you get to decide when that is.

You get the choice of saying: Good job. I’m done for today. Tomorrow is a new day maybe we go again, maybe we rest. Occasionally if you’re not listening to your body you get a reminder – think catcher car – that says you need to stop for a while.

The truth is you never really stop, you pick your direction with a destination in mind and keep going. Sometimes it feels as if you’re stuck mud and sometimes it feels as if you are way off track. It’s ok to reset, recalculate and even to enjoy the meander for a while.

I would love to hear where you’re heading right now – leave a comment or send a message.

[It’s the Wings for Life World Run where you run until the catcher car catches you. Runners get 30 minutes head start and the car is speed limited. It starts at 14kph and increases speed every 30 minutes.]

If you’re feeling stuck, unsure or cautious about taking action then I would love to help. The first step is to get moving (yes, actually moving, take a walk or dance or something) and then get in touch for a chat. I’m currently offering coaching on a pay what you want basis.

Bring me sunshine

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Summer weather seems to make everything better. People smile, you can hear laughter and there is a spring in everyone’s steps. But this can also make us wonder why we don’t feel like this all the time. We question how we spend out time (who really wants to commute and sit in an office when it’s sunny outside?), whether we can have this all the time (let’s move to Spain!) and what exactly are we doing with our lives.

I don’t think this is unusual and neither does it require rash decisions. We can make some small changes to feel like it’s a sunny day everyday. Here are some ideas:

  1. The sun is always shining: if you remember this you can always have a smile on your face – even when the clouds get in the way. Take a little time – 5 minutes is enough – to do something sunny: laugh out loud; have some fresh juice; buy some flowers. It will brighten your day and in turn you will brighten someone else’s.
  2. Put a spring in your step: You may know this one – get outside: take a walk, ride a bike, even a few breaths outside your front door will make a difference. Movement is the best thing to get you out of your head and into your body to feel what’s real and not what you’re imagining. Fresh air, nature, outsideness all have added benefits to lift our mood.
  3. Get connected: in real terms. Go and see what people are doing – find out what the options are before you tell yourself “I could never…”. This could be taking the time to talk to your colleagues, or go into a cafe and notice what people are doing (I’m writing this in the cafe where my usual quiet corner has been turned into a co-working space because the trains aren’t running). Don’t get sucked into the gloss of social media but do get inspired to be or do different.
  4. Take action: Start doing your dreams. Once you’re in a state of mind to make considered choices decide what you are going to do, schedule a time and get it done. Don’t be overambitious about this first step – that’s to come – but do make it slightly uncomfortable nudging at the edges of those limiting barriers we set ourselves.

Leave a comment to let me know if you try any of these, I’d love to hear about it.

If you’re feeling stuck about moving forward and turning your dreams into reality I can help. Get in touch to find out how to work with me 1:1 and keep an eye on the events page for details of group workshops.

Resolutions

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It’s almost 2 weeks into the new year and already the posts that promise a “New You for the New Year in 6 easy steps” are fading to the bottom of the social media news pile. Add to that the increasing pile of anti-new-year-resolutions posts and it almost feels as if we should simply pick up where we left off in a fug of mulled wine and mince pies sometime in mid-December. After all, if we believe everything that’s written we’re doomed to failure even if we do buck the trend and make some resolutions. And so we resolve not to resolve.

This is all good. We are enough exactly as we are right now. We can commit to change at any time if that’s what we want and need.

Although I’m going to give New Year’s Resolutions a final hurrah. Right now, in the depths of winter is a great time to start something.

Firstly there’s often a break in routine over Christmas – and whether we view this positively or negatively – it gives us a chance to take a step back and review where we’re at. You may do this consciously or it may happen somewhere deep in the subconscious. Have you loved spending time with your family? Are you looking forward to going back to work? Did you enjoy your Boxing Day walk? Whatever brought you joy and made you feel alive is the start of identifying what you need more of in your life. If there were things that filled you with tension then find a way to do less of these over the coming months.

Secondly let’s look at the word resolution to mean a firm decision to do or not do something; or the action of solving a problem or contentious matter. So what do you want to decide to do or not this year? What is the problem you see in your life that by “solving” would give you a lighter, happier day?

And finally, what to do about it, once you have your resolution? It’s a new year so there’s enough time to resolve without over committing to a short term deadline. Give yourself time to really imagine what life will be like once you’re living your decision; problem solved. (Yes, this is day dreaming) And only once you’ve got that picture can you start doing the things to get you there.  It could be a big leap – quitting you job – or it could be smaller steps – a regular lunchtime walk or an evening class. The trick to make it stick is to do those things that make you come alive when you’re doing them. Don’t focus on the end goal all the time. Enjoy the journey, you’ll make it to your destination quicker and with a smile on your face.

What are your next steps? What are you finding hard to start? I’d love to hear about it on my Facebook page. If you need a helping hand, get in touch for information on 1:1 coaching to help you start doing your dreams

Storytelling

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At the age of 4 or 5, I’m snuggled up in bed waiting for the story from my lilac-covered “365 Bedtime Stories” book. I always hoped it was one of the short stories and not a poem, but either way, once the tale started I was enchanted until the end.  I’ve always been an avid reader, but telling stories myself had always been something I struggled with. This neatly fitted into the box I’d put myself in: “not creative”.  Creative writing, making up a story, was something I wasn’t comfortable with at all.  It always seemed so ridiculous, so false, which is why my stories always ended up with me waking up and finding out it was all a dream.

But what if those dreams could become real? I recently participated in The Story Party – an event where people tell stories – which was a bit of a surprise to me, as well! There is a theme for each event and three rules: the story must be true, the story must be personal to you and there must be a message for the audience.  My main reason for volunteering (yes, nobody made me do it) was to start getting comfortable with public speaking. It was one of my first actions for exploring my limits this year.  And I’ve learnt so much more than the fact that I can stand in front of an audience and speak clearly.

 

My life is my story. I don’t have to imagine things, or make things up. I can tell what’s happened and I can choose my own adventure to create what happens next. But who wants to hear my story? Quite a few people, as it turns out. Because people like stories. It’s a tradition and a culture across the world. It’s how we learn and it’s a medium that’s accessible to all. And it’s really powerful.

You can learn a lot about yourself from your story and from telling it (writing, speaking, drawing or musically). You will unburden yourself and free yourself to move on to the next page or, when you’re ready, the next chapter. And your plans become what happens next.

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Reading by the campfire

What will happen next in your story? You can take the next step to start doing – and when you wake up it will be real and not just a dream.

If you want help to figure out the framework of your next chapter, get in touch and we can chat about how to do it.

I could never…start a charity

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What do you do when you need some time to figure out if the career you’ve chosen is the one for you?  Travel?  Support a good cause?  Or both.  And so much the better if you can find a novel twist to tie it all together.

This is how Cricket Without Boundaries was born.  A trip from Cairo to Cape Town coaching cricket along the way…and using cricket to spread education on AIDS awareness and other social issues. (Listen in, it makes sense)

I spoke to Ed Williams – founder and trustee of CWB – and we talked about the last 10 years, how CWB has grown and the challenges for the future.  I found out who provided the inspiration for the original trip, the importance of finding the right team and how playing with ideas can lead you to the right place.

 

CWB is a cricket development and AIDS awareness charity run by volunteers. It has coached over 250,000 children and has had a positive impact on their lives through education, integration and friendship.  Local cricket coaches are supported to ensure sustainability within communities.  The vision is to coach 1 million children in the next 10 years.

If you would like to get involved through volunteering (no cricket experience required) or fundraising and raising awareness they would love to hear from you.

http://www.cricketwithoutboundaries.com/